The Shoe Cult

Every Morning, I take a healthy walk down the street and over the bridge into The Other State. I enjoy walking on the bridge, I see all sorts of unusual stuff. Unlike the road, where anything that might fall of a vehicle going 60 mph will bounce off into the weeds and disappear for ever, the bridge is like a giant tray with 3-foot high walls. It is a repository of reflections, if you will.

For example:

"Hmmm, I wonder what caused that radiator cap to pop off a moving vehicle? For that matter, how old was the car to have a radiator cap like that?"

"Wow, that is a pretty expensive and space age-looking bolt. What the hell did that fall off?"

"That looks like some giant tie-down mechanism off of a truck. How could you miss THAT falling off?"

"WTF??? a shoe??"

How the hell does one loose a shoe while driving at 50+ mph? I have been pondering that question since I was about 9 years old. I'm not talking a flip-flop; I've seen enough people with their feet on the dash and hanging them out the passenger window on warm summer days that I would expect the highways of America to contain a lost flip-flop or three. No, I am not talking children's shoes here, either. I am well aware that young children often fight and squabble and throw their sibling's things out the windows of moving cars, having been a victim of that particular cruelty myself. (Although, in hindsight, the Jackson Five lunch box my brother tossed out the window on the Major Deegan one summer was a potentially fatal projectile.) I'm talking about the adult-sized single athletic shoe, the odd work boot and the single loafer. I mean, is there some clever practical joke I was never party to where someone in the car wrestles another person down and snatches one of their shoes off and tosses them out the window? I have driven all across this country during my 40+ years of life and I have seen these odd relics of footwear littering the roads and highways of every state.

I have begun to suspect that these shoes are part of some sinister cult network. Perhaps these are beacons to the secret locations of the local meetings. What other explanation can there be? No one accidentally flicks a laced up athletic shoe or work boot out the window while driving. As for loafers, who wouldn't throw both of them out the window? Nope, it's a cult.

Either that or the Free Masons, everyone knows those guys are freaks.

This is Crazy!!

OK, to clarify, I graduated from Year 1 with the LPN exit option here in Illinois on July 7th.

I got my Authorization To Test on Monday, July 12th.

On Friday, July 16th I took the NCLEX-PN.

On Sunday, July 19th I got my Quick results from Peasonvue that I passed.

Today, I applied to one place, and picked up two other applications.

Tomorrow I have an interview scheduled for that same place! This pace is absolutely insane! I applied at a Rehab facility, it looked interesting. Hopefully, I'll be working soon and posting some interesting tales.

LPN!!

Well, The title says it all! I got tired of waiting and the little "for just $7.95 you can check your quick results" Line in blood red on my Pearson Vue page was just too much, I knuckled under and recieved my results. I passed. I should have my LPN Liscense in a day or two from the Hoosier state.





You know what that means? The stories just got a whole lot better!

T minus 1 day and counting...

Friday is the day. I am scheduled to test for my LPN at 2 pm EST in Terry Hate.

Terry Hate? where is that? It's Terre Haute to those of you who don't spell check. In my version of wordperfect, the machine corrects Terre Haute to Terry Hate and, since it is such a festering canker of a city, the wife and I have just gone about calling it Terry Hate on a regular basis.

At any rate, I have suddenly become nervous and anxiety ridden. I am suddenly fearing I won't pass. I don't know why it's such a big deal to me, I don't need the LPN to get in to school in a couple of weeks for the RN. I just want to work somewhere and make a little extra money for us to move with come next spring. We are probably only moving to Indianapolis, but it will be a step up from the cornfields.

Anyway, off to take more practice exams.

ATT

Got my Authorization to Test for the NCLEX-pn yesterday. Test is scheduled for Friday. Guess I better hit the books.

I will NOT be another fat nursing grad!!

I have decided this morning that I will absolutely NOT be one of those nursing students that eats my way through school. I am not graduating as an RN weighing 40 lbs more than when I started nursing school, like some of my fellow students. Mind you, I've already gained about 18 lbs, so I have to get cracking on the weight loss.

Fortunately, my wife and I are flat broke so eating too much will not be a problem this week.

What the hell Happened?

I know I am going to look back on this one day and wonder what ever happened to my first year of school. I have not posted since October and here it is July and the first year is over. Of the original 18 students in my LPN class, only 6 survived!!. I don't know what the deal was, I managed to maintain a B average all the way through, but I must have been surrounded by idiots.

At any rate, I am preparing to take my LPN NCLEX test in a month or two, and then I will work as an LPN while I attend the second year at a new campus in Illinois. I was driving 54 miles each way and decided that I would like to attend the campus that is 7 miles from my front door! I have just two more days left and I will be done until August!

I hope this career is the right choice for me; My step-daughter quit nursing, my friend quit nursing and my wife WANTS to quit nursing! So far, I like it, but we'll see what it's like when I actually get out there...