I'd Rather she came home with STD's than came home knocked up!

Okay, so we are covering Human Growth and Development in our class the other day, and the topic drifted to sex education and hat is the correct age to have this discussion with your child. Dumber chimes in with “never.” Honestly, I thought it was a joke. Apparently so did the instructor.

Instructor: “When did your mother have the discussion with you?”

Dumber: “We never talked about it. It would have been too Embarassing!”

Instructor: “And how old where you when you got pregnant?”

Dumber: “Eighteen. But talkin’ about rubbers and the pill had nothing to do with it. To be honest, I was drunk! when I was partyin’ I wasn’t thinkin’ about rubbers, wantin’ sex!”

I swear, this was a real conversation. Dumber really talks this way. Nineteen more months in Hell with these hicks and I can graduate and move back to civilization.

But we’re not done.

No, there’s more. How much worse can it get, you ask?


Instructor: “So, what do you do with your child? Do you put your daughter on birth control? When?”

Dumber: “I’ll just take her and get her that 3-month shot thing. Then I won’t have to worry.”

Instructor: “Depo Provera. What about STD’s?”

Dumber: “Is that one? I never heard of it.”

Instructor: “What?”

Dumber: “That Depo thing.”

Instructor: (with a barely contained sigh of frustration) “That’s the name of the shot, Depo Provera. It does not prevent STD’s.”

Dumber: “Well, I’d rather she came home with STD’s than came home knocked up!”

Apparently, HIV and herpes are more easily dealt with by teens than pregnancy, in Dumber’s world. Yes, if you live out here in the Midwest, this will soon be your nurse.

Comforting, isn’t it?

Introduction

I deliberately waited until the first semester was well underway before I started this blog. There were several reasons for this. First, I wanted to make sure this was thing for me. I have, as some of you know, floated from one thing to the other during my 40-some years. I did not want to start blogging about my new career only to decide I did not like it and want to quit during the first semester.

Second, I needed to make sure that some of my classmates were as colossally stupid and strange as I first believed. After all, what fun is there in writing about school if I cannot find people to make fun of? Fortunately, I have a bevy of idiots and freaks with which to entertain myself.

As I return to school this upcoming week, I will introduce you to some of my favorites. There is Aunt Bee, Jeffery Dahmer, Dumb, Dumber and Fossil, just to name a few.

In addition to Nursing School, I also work some weekends with a motorcycle safety course. I do not instruct, I just set up the course and study. These classes can sometimes be filled with some rather entertaining folks as well, so hopefully I'll have some tales from there as well.