I'd Rather she came home with STD's than came home knocked up!

Okay, so we are covering Human Growth and Development in our class the other day, and the topic drifted to sex education and hat is the correct age to have this discussion with your child. Dumber chimes in with “never.” Honestly, I thought it was a joke. Apparently so did the instructor.

Instructor: “When did your mother have the discussion with you?”

Dumber: “We never talked about it. It would have been too Embarassing!”

Instructor: “And how old where you when you got pregnant?”

Dumber: “Eighteen. But talkin’ about rubbers and the pill had nothing to do with it. To be honest, I was drunk! when I was partyin’ I wasn’t thinkin’ about rubbers, wantin’ sex!”

I swear, this was a real conversation. Dumber really talks this way. Nineteen more months in Hell with these hicks and I can graduate and move back to civilization.

But we’re not done.

No, there’s more. How much worse can it get, you ask?


Instructor: “So, what do you do with your child? Do you put your daughter on birth control? When?”

Dumber: “I’ll just take her and get her that 3-month shot thing. Then I won’t have to worry.”

Instructor: “Depo Provera. What about STD’s?”

Dumber: “Is that one? I never heard of it.”

Instructor: “What?”

Dumber: “That Depo thing.”

Instructor: (with a barely contained sigh of frustration) “That’s the name of the shot, Depo Provera. It does not prevent STD’s.”

Dumber: “Well, I’d rather she came home with STD’s than came home knocked up!”

Apparently, HIV and herpes are more easily dealt with by teens than pregnancy, in Dumber’s world. Yes, if you live out here in the Midwest, this will soon be your nurse.

Comforting, isn’t it?